I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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