nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
