WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
