turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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