You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
