The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
