Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize