Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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