I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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