I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
We have so much sex to catch up on
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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