I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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