with your own penis?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
