We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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