she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
