I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize