Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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