Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize