i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
they call him Oral-B. enough said
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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