Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize