Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
