I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize