We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
