just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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