Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize