Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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