i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
