I want to stick my p in your. b.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
