do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
