bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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