He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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