Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
