new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize