just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
