piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
and she was petting her beer can
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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