No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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