Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
