1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
