please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
