I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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