wakey wakey hands off snakey
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize