Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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