East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
