Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
