I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
