I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
