best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
