her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
time to smoke my breakfast
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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