well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize