Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
