so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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