she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
