he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
