you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
