Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
