Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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