I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
