Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
