dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
